Why the English language is such a joy to learn, and to teach.

I don’t know who originally published this, but I acknowledge it’s not mine.

1. The bandage was wound around the wound.
2. The farm was used to produce produce.
3. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4. We must polish the Polish furniture.
5. He could lead if he could get the lead out.
6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10. I did not object to the object.
11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13. They were too close to the door to close it.
14. The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18. After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19. Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let’s face it – English is a crazy language.

• There is no egg in eggplant, ham in hamburger, and neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
• English muffins weren’t invented in England or French fries in France.
• Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted.

• But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea, nor is it a pig.
• And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing? Grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham?
• If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth?
• One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices?
• Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb through annals of history but not a single annal?
• If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
• If retired teachers taught, did retired preachers praught?
• If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
• Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
• In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?
• How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
• How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike?
• How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?
• Have you noticed that we describe certain things only when they are absent? A horseless carriage, a strapless gown.  Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown?
• Met a sung hero or experienced requited love?
• Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable?
• And where are all those people who ARE spring chickens or who would ACTUALLY hurt a fly?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on. English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn’t a race at all).

That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch it starts, but when I wind up this essay, it ends.

Why I love my job!

I woke up this morning from an odd corporate dream. I was in a boardroom for what seemed like a large television broadcast company and they were being taken over by a German conglomerate. As the ‘axe-murderer’ in charge was explaining how some of us were going to be spared and others were going to have to prove ourselves before we lay our heads on the chopping block, I snapped. After years of service, now I have to prove myself? Well, let’s say that when I was through, that ‘axe-murderer’ was ready to quit herself. As I left the building, I felt free. As I woke up from this dream, I realized I am free. I’m a freelancer.

I have had a long career in various industries. I started my business life as a clerk in the bank when I was 17. Six months later, I was promoted to a new function: Helpdesk Officer. After year and a half and leaving for a three years for college, I returned to the same bank (yes, I’m loyal), and was promoted further to an Analyst. However, I had a great job with lots of challenges, and yet something was missing. So, it was time to move forward and move to Europe.

In the Netherlands, I started my career as a Software Engineer and I was lucky to have been able to work with several major clients in various industries. During those years, I worked in the financial, public transportation, food retail, and public sectors, to name a few. However, I spent most of my time talking to computers instead of people. So, I decided to go back to university and got a degree in Organizational Behaviour. Well, that led to another career move where I was whisked away into the project management world for an office automation monster with subsidiaries all over Europe. As a content management project manager, I was living the fast life: deadlines, airports, meetings, hotels, new requirements/services, workshops, and the list went on. My personal life suffered, but I was definitely enjoying the adventure.

Yet, the truth revealed itself. I was working for a massive and rather self-interested organization and I was helping them make billions of Euros with little contribution to the greater good. After seeing through the mist, I once again decided to move forward. At this point in my life, I began to reflect on why I couldn’t stay with a company for more than 3 years. Why was there a revelation that created this unrest and upheaval? With this in mind, I took a small sabbatical and spent a year helping others start-up their own companies. It was stimulating work, but still somewhat limiting. Then came the once-in-a-lifetime moment.

Currently, I work as a freelance language coach. My specialty is coaching non-native English professionals from all over the world on how to improve their Business English. Back in 2008, I crept into this world by starting with the traditional language institutions. I learned a great deal and really developed a niche for myself. I could combine my business and IT experience with my courses. My clients really appreciated my background and enjoyed the unique ways I motivated them. In a weird way, my job is to have conversations with professionals – in English. Slowly, I grew in confidence and experience, and started my own company. Today, I’m asked to work with people, instead of doing the searching I used to do. Well, I still have to search from time-to-time, but I’m fairly swamped this first quarter of 2010.

So, what’s the point of this meandering? I love my job. I loved the jobs I had before, but for me, there was always something missing. In my current incarnation, I’m my own boss and I can meet someone new almost every other week. I get to talk about many amazing topics and as much as my clients learn how to improve their Business English, the knowledge of the business world gained is my gift from them. With an insatiable appetite for knowledge, I couldn’t ask for something more perfect. I’m making a difference and learning from it.

Now, naturally, there are the struggles of being a freelancer, but I will say more about that next week. For now, I really love what I’m doing and I hope to continue to help people accomplish their Business English goals for the rest of my life.

Cheers,

Dellwyn Oseana
o-say-ana.com

Delegation: an opportunity for success and failure.

It is often said, “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.” This can also be said about opportunities in business. One such opportunity is regularly presented when managers/leaders delegate tasks. If meant positively, these special tasks are usually indicators of an employees drive. On the other hand, they could be just the leftovers that a selfish manager could care less to complete. However, ideally, delegating is meant to be a productive chance for an employee to prove himself. Yet, how much pressure could be unintentionally felt by the recipient? “What happens if I’m successful? What if I fail? What if it’s just average?”

The corporate world can be extremely competitive. The proactive worker will want to achieve as much as possible, but with the wrong manager, that worker will be easily discouraged as the right opportunities might not come easily. The insecure worker might just want to float around the office, but with a driven manager, he might feel unneeded pressure that could unintentionally sabotage his efforts. So, if we view delegation as an opportunity for success or failure, we could presume that the option depends on the beholder.

Cheers,

Dellwyn Oseana
o-say-ana.com

Training is confidence-building

As a trainer, observation is probably the most valuable aspect of your career. The ability to see and identify certain behavior components in an individual or within a group could be vital in determining how the rest course should proceed. Nevertheless, there may be an even more important factor that could jeopardize the entire event if not attended to immediately. The role confidence plays in the matter.

Coaches, teachers, trainers, and even parents have an unusual position in society. To a degree, they are an authority in their given fields, and consequently they must often interact and stimulate people who may be completely insecure – authority without controlling factor. A language coach, for example, must break any notions the client has on ability and proficiency, otherwise progress could be slow. A teacher, likewise, must encourage open communication and tolerance when different learning styles clash in the classroom.

Could it be suggested that confidence is a stimulant definable in many shapes and forms? An over-confident student may need a wake-up call illustrating the lack of perceived proficiency, while a timid personality could adversely affect the pace of group activities. As an external stimulant itself, the trainer must cope with both delicately (as in the case of the over-confident) and encouragingly (as in the case of timidity).

Ultimately, where does that leave us? Is confidence-building a vital part of all training endeavors?

Cheers,

Dellwyn Oseana
o-say-ana.com

Emotional versus Professional Conduct

In the realm of emotional versus professional conduct, how can the terms be best labeled? Should people be emotionally liberal at the office or stay so professionally-focused that they alienate their friends and family? Should we become vessels of explosive honesty by declaring our ‘bad day’ or by prophesying our own destruction? Or should we perform our tasks like programmed androids without reciprocation? And so, is the real question: is conduct simply a question of taking responsibility of one’s actions and the impact of said action?

There are countless professionals around the world who are beyond exceptional in their work performance, maybe even brilliant, and yet upon one false move, these geniuses can be best described as a deciding member of WWIII. Although some of the greatest personages in history had been declared insane and unstable in their days, today they have surpassed the limitations observed and created in their time, often being viewed as martyrs for the greater good. Change is good, but major upheaval works faster.

On the other hand, professional indifference can be proclaimed as being too stoic or even inauthentic. If one chooses to focus on a career with proper prospects above kindness and building relationships, does that make a person a beast of burden? Could that robotic monotony sacrifice creativity and ingenuity within the status quo? The worker bee that does the most still dies an unknown, but the bee scout that finds a new source of food will be remembered, albeit temporarily.

Witnesses have shared tales of a schizophrenic Human Resource manager who in one minute would run her department like a military coup and at another moment (during an important meeting with distinguished delegates) have an unstoppably embarrassing temper tantrum when her opinion is not validated.

What about the external consultant who was hired to create a new application, but often spent time socializing with the project team, even asking the project manager out to lunch on several occasions? This lead to the consultant’s utter humiliation when he asked his project manager whether or not he was liked. The project manager begrudgingly replied, “I don’t have to like you. This is not kindergarten.”

And still, the worker bee drudges along. Working hours on end without any externally visible satisfaction. Naturally, we can attest these examples to personality profiles, organizational behavior theories of motivation, and even interpersonal communications skills. However and ultimately, where lies the median in our corporate world? Who is responsible for the behavior and what should be done about it?

Cheers,

Dellwyn Oseana
o-say-ana.com

Europeans Learn Business English and May Shift the International Market

The influence of internationalization is something that has become very apparent in the last few weeks. We are all connected as the financial markets clearly show. As English continues to dominate global commerce, adapting yourself to the world market is becoming the norm. Most notable is the shift within Europe.

Many young Europeans are focusing on improving their English so they can leave their native country for more opportunities in other major markets. I recently had a student from Rome, who visited the Netherlands without the knowledge of his employer, to spend a week in a language institute so as to prepare himself for job interviews in London and Amsterdam. One of the first things he realized was that his Italian-English way of doing business would not be globally understood. A shift in mindset was necessary and after his week with me, it had begun.

Business English has become a fundamental requirement in the current corporate landscape. Without a solid understanding of the nuances of the English language, a non-native English speaker automatically loses a major advantage in their commercial endeavors. Whether within negotiations, during presentations, or just for social conversation, many citizens of various European nations are realizing that the global economy is driven by the English-language and they need to understand that language pronto. In the Netherlands, language institutes and communications coaches are increasingly becoming the norm in the development of this market. Germans, Belgians, and many other Western European citizens frequently travel to language schools in the Netherlands to improve their English skills and to network. In doing so, these people develop an essential internationalization competency – breaking barriers.

Until another language (i.e. Chinese) becomes the central language in the race for globalization, nonnative English speakers must continue efforts to understand their British, Australian, and U.S. counterparts. However, the language institute shift is also creating a change in the balance of power that the Anglo-speakers have maintained for many decades. Even though many Europeans are learning the English language and its unique nuances, if a certain country is considered a global force to be reckoned with (i.e. Russia and China), native English speakers must adapt their language to the styles of the local cultures as well.

Native English speakers have often had to make efforts to communicate culturally with their foreign constituents. Yet, this effort has not always been successful. For example, everyone knows that doing business in many Asian countries (especially Japan) requires a high-level of indirectness and respect.

Hierarchy and saving face are imperative business qualities. I worked for an international Japanese company a few years ago and even though they were based in Europe, most of the rules of the Japanese Theory Z still applied. It felt like an Asian territory within Europe. The European employees within that company had many difficulties adapting themselves to the Japanese. On the other hand, the Japanese held their stances and would not bend to Western norms, as they clearly controlled that specific market.

Unfortunately, there is also a level of animosity towards native English speakers. Specifically, the common lack of multilingual skills among English speakers is one of the reasons that communication is often difficult throughout the corporate world. Most British and U.S. citizens do not speak more than one internationally spoken language and to some, it appears that they are not particularly interested in learning another language for the sake of internationalization (at least for now).

Nonetheless, most young adults (from any country) fail to understand the benefits of languages until they start to fully realize the world they live in. And with the popularity of language institutes, everyone has an opportunity to learn English or any other language to capitalize on globalization. Knowing more than one language fluently gives career-minded individuals a superior edge. I had a Dutch student recently who came to me with the hope of being able to tackle both Asian and British Business English cultures. He was a fairly fluent and accurate English speaker, but when we did several rigorous role-plays, the shock on his face from his lack of language awareness was heart-breaking. He survived. Still, I can promise you that when he faces a Brit or a Singaporean. He will be ready.

Cheers,

Dellwyn Oseana
o-say-ana.com